


Sleeplessness

by StevetheIcecube



Series: Reunion [1]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Black & White | Pokemon Black and White Versions
Genre: Gen, Happy Ending, Introspection, Post-Game, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 18:41:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14624735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StevetheIcecube/pseuds/StevetheIcecube
Summary: Touya is taking a break after everything, but he finds he can't settle properly.





	Sleeplessness

It was strange, Touya thought, that at the end of the day it suddenly became so quiet. His life these days had been so...full. Full of everything. Fighting, running, travelling, not having enough money to stay the night somewhere warm so hunkering down in the first sheltered spot he could, choosing between feeding himself and feeding his Pokemon. Sometimes it had been silent, yes, but never quiet. There was always something going on.

But now, there was nothing. He sat in the sand at the edge of the water in Undella Town. It was autumn, and everyone else had left a few days ago. They had lives to get back to now summer was over. No more training on the beach in the sun with the sea breeze, no more sharing meals with some of the richest people in the world. Back to just him and his Pokemon, which was...sort of how he wanted it to be, honestly.

It felt silly, because when he’d been around people, he’d enjoyed it, but wished he could spend more time alone. Now everything was over and he could fade into a happy background once more, he was lonely. He missed adventure, even though he sorely needed a break. That’s why he’d decided to stay here, at least for a short while.

His Pokemon were inside the small rented house, sleeping. He didn’t blame them. They’d all been run ragged, even when they were meant to be on holiday like now. He should be exhausted to, and in some ways he was, but others...he couldn’t sleep when he was feeling so restless. His mind was still racing at a million miles a minute and he couldn’t get it to stop.

He tried gazing up at the stars and listening to the ocean and breathing slowly and all of those things. He’d been trying that all night for the past few nights, yet he could never get to sleep until very late at night. Usually more like the early hours of the morning.

Touya didn’t know what was wrong with him. Everything about this situation was perfect. He had somewhere he could relax with his Pokemon and he didn’t have to worry about money anymore, and everyone in Unova was safe, and he’d done everything he could have been expected to do, yet something was wrong. Something in him.

And, as it always did, his mind drifted back to N. Because he knew that one of the problems was N. Touya could not stop thinking about how worried he was about him. He worried about how N was on his own in a world where he had constantly been mistreated and shunned and hated. How could anyone even go on when they'd never really had a place in the world before? N could be anywhere right now, doing anything, and that was what worried him the most. He could be in danger or even dead, and Touya would never know.

Frustrated by his train of thoughts, Touya roughly dug his fingers into the sand, feeling it scratch over his fingertips and embed in his nails. It was an incredibly unpleasant feeling, but it helped ground him a little. He felt close to tears, and he wasn't sure if they were of anger at himself or worry for N. Maybe it was a bit of both.

Where was he? Touya just wanted a way to contact him. He didn't want to hurt him, didn't even want to find him again if N didn't want him to, he just wanted to know that he was okay every now and again, just so he didn't have to worry.

But who was he kidding? Of course he wanted to see N again. They'd become startlingly close over the last few weeks before N disappeared. Touya connected with him in a way he'd never connected with anyone, not even Cheren and Bianca. They always knew what the other needed in that moment, and the words they exchanged were friendly, lacking any tension, and the silences were comfortable. It had been an amazing feeling, clicking with someone like that, and even thinking of it made Touya feel warm and excited inside.

He wanted to see N again, and feel that connection they so plainly had without the pressure of being the heroes of opposite sides of a story. They'd let Reshiram and Zekrom fly away and Touya had hoped they could move on from the past together. But N had wanted to build a future on his own; Touya could understand that, of course, considering how much N had been messed around by people who had power. But he'd wanted it to be different to this. He felt bad for wanting things that N didn't want, but he...wanted the other boy's quiet company.

Touya made a soft sound of frustration and flopped backwards onto the sand. He was getting sand in his hair and on his neck but he honestly couldn't bring himself to care. There was basically no one around to judge him and his Pokémon didn't exactly mind if he was a bit mucky. It felt a bit gross, sure, but that didn't mean he cared enough to not lie on the sand. This late at night, it was hard to summon up the will to care about much at all.

He stood up and decided to undertake a very reckless action. He knew it was dangerous, but fuck it. He needed to move and for some reason he felt like he couldn't breathe here. This was so unbelievably stupid, actually, but he could deal with the consequences if they came. Without his Pokémon at his side, he started at a decent pace along the coast and made his way out to the route beyond.

It took a bit of cautious rock climbing in the misty night, but eventually he made it up to where he wanted to go with relatively few encounters with wild Pokémon that he had to rapidly run away from before they realised he was completely alone. There was a secluded area covered by trees here, and a shrine to a Pokémon that Touya doubted anyone prayed to any more. But the area had a kind of peace associated with it, and he needed that right now. Or maybe he didn't. Maybe he'd just wanted to move, getting himself stuck up on a cliff in a forest full of wild Pokémon in the middle of the night with no way to protect himself.

Yup, this was a stupid idea. And he sort of regretted it. He definitely regretted it, actually, but at the same time, he didn't feel as antsy as he had before. He'd managed to get this far. He may as well go all the way, and work out how to deal with the consequences when he got to that bit. So, instead of turning back, he kept going further into the forest.

Once he entered the clearing, the sounds of Pokémon rushing round in the undergrowth faded into the background, and he was left with only a soft sound of wind rushing through the trees. It was so peaceful here, a different kind of peace to how he felt in Undella Town. Maybe it was because he'd burnt some of his energy climbing up, but his mind wasn't rushing so uncomfortably anymore.

With a soft sigh, he sat down in the grass towards the centre of the clearing. At some point, he knew, he would have to go back. Before he got tired enough to sleep, for sure, because while he’d slept rough plenty of times, he never woke up feeling particularly refreshed, and his Pokemon would certainly be worried about him. Getting back was the difficult part, and finding the motivation to get up again would probably be even harder.

Idly, he wondered if N had ever been here. It was quite remote, but that wouldn’t stop N from going here, if he’d ever had the free time to do so. The site seemed like it had once been very important in local folklore, but then again, Touya had no idea if N was interested in that kind of thing. Honestly, despite how well they got on, they didn’t know very much about each other. At least, Touya didn’t know much about N. Maybe the opposite wasn’t true.

His thoughts wandered, and with every passing minute, he could feel tiredness and cold seeping into his bones. It was probably time to head back. He imagined he’d be able to sleep once he got back to the house, anyway. The only problem was, the normal way to get up the cliffs was by climbing the waterfall with a Pokemon. And he had scaled the rocks at the edge of the river, but getting down safely was a whole other issue, especially now he was almost dead on his feet.

Still, it couldn’t hurt to try, right? He had to try at some point, anyway, seeing as he’d left just about everything he owned back at the house. He couldn’t contact anyone. Wow, his impulsive adventure had been really stupid. He should have at least taken some precautions. There wasn’t really much point in berating himself now, though. He just had to work out how to get himself out of the mess he’d landed himself in.

Cautiously, he picked his way through the grass surrounding the clearing and managed to get back to the cliff without too much of an issue. But then he stared down the cliff. If he slipped, he could get badly hurt. If he slipped the wrong way, he could fall in the water, and if he hit his head then he definitely wouldn’t come up again. Why hadn’t he at least brought some rope? Why was he such an idiot?

He stood there staring at the ground far below him for several minutes. His tired brain just couldn’t process the different things he needed to consider before he made his move, apparently, so his body had decided it was safer to stand stock still in the cold night air and just stare at the danger until it disappeared.

He didn’t even hear or see the person coming up the path below. “Having some trouble?” He called, and Touya’s heart leapt.

“Just a little!” He called back, and in spite of his situation he couldn’t keep his grin off his face. N appearing was nothing but incredibly convenient, to the extent that for a moment he thought this could maybe be a dream, but he was way too tired for that to be the case.

“Start climbing down,” N suggested, getting straight to the matter at hand. “Just be careful. You got up, so you can get down.” Touya nodded, but he didn’t move for a moment, just watching N. He couldn’t believe that he was actually here, in front of him.

“You cut your hair,” he said, squinting. N was also actually wearing a coat, which he had never seemed to do before. Clearly, things had changed while they were apart.

“Only a little,” he said with a small smile. “You’ve done the opposite. Come on, we can talk once you’re down from there.” Touya stuck his tongue out and turned round to begin to climb down. He could feel N’s eyes on him, watching his progress as he descended the cliff. The rocks were hurting his hands a lot more than what he’d felt earlier, and he was inclined to rush, but he didn’t want to fall.

In the end, he made it down a lot easier than expected, but his legs were shaking and he practically fell over towards N when he reached the bottom. “Thanks,” he said. He didn’t really know what to do with himself now. N was here, after all his hoping and wishing, yet he’d never imagined what he would say.

“Are you staying in the town up ahead?” N asked. “By the beach.”

“Not for long,” Touya said, though he hadn’t really made the conscious decision that he was going to leave soon. “I wanted some peace and quiet, but it’s a little too quiet. Hence the middle of the night rock climbing.”

“You look exhausted,” N said. “Have you slept? I know I’m one to talk, seeing as I’m here at this time of night, but this route is a long way to travel without any resting spots.”

“I haven’t,” Touya admitted, trying not to flush when N slung an arm around him and started walking in the direction of the town. When had he become so self assured? The N of the past never initiated anything like this. It was...nice, actually.

“Guess we’re going back and getting some rest, then,” he said. “If it’s fine with you for me to stay. I can understand if you wanted the past to stay in the past, and-”

“I missed you,” he said abruptly. Then he blushed, because of course he did. He hadn’t meant to say that. “You can stick around for as long as you feel like it.” Somehow, Touya felt that with N around, he would sleep a lot better at night from now on.


End file.
